Somewhere along the line, we were taught that selflessness is the ultimate show of love...especially as women. You see it all of the time. As women, we were taught to prioritize our family over our own wants and needs. We prioritize ourself last in almost any situation. We sacrifice our calling to climb the corporate ladder because we want a family. Or we sacrifice our family in order to have a thriving career. We make sure every member of our family is taken care of with both their needs and wants, especially our children. How often do we want to join a yoga membership, wellness program, coaching program, or retreat, then hold back because we "can't afford it". Yet we make sure all of our kids are signed up in all the extracurricular activities they want, and have nice cloths and toys regardless of the expense because we will find a way to make it work.
I want to take a moment here to identify the difference...
Oh my gosh you guys. I actually did it! I can't believe I did it! I locked the door to the bathroom while I am taking a bath! I can't help but wonder if this is how excited my husband gets every single night when he takes shower or bath? Why is it that men have such an easier time drawing boundaries around their self care? Why do I feel like I just preformed the ultimate form of mom rebellion by locking the door when my husband doesn't think twice about this exact behavior?
Years of conditioning created the guilt that I feel when I tend to my wants and needs when I finally spend the time, money, and space on myself. Where does this guilt come from? I know I wasn't born with these feelings, thoughts and beliefs.
This guilt comes from the messages all around us. From family, friends, society, social media, news, teachers....and the list can go on. Have you ever stopped to question these faulty beliefs?...
Last week's blog article was all about how to notice when you are NOT in alignment with your Life Purpose. I don't want to just leave you hanging out with this new found awareness and not knowing what to do with it, so I figured it would be appropriate to have a follow up of ways to align with your Life Purpose, don't you?!
For about a decade, I lived my life in that state of confusion, which is one of the indicators I was not fully aligned with my Life Purpose. I had everything I had wanted and more, but was still feeling restless. I felt like something was wrong with me because I "should" be grateful and content. Today, I am happy to report that I was able to clear the fog and confusion to fully grasp what was happening. First, let me offer you a definition of what I consider Life Purpose: the intersection between your passions and your Spiritual gifts, and sharing those gifts with the world.
Along my journey, there were...
This week was an emotionally rough one for me. Hell...this has been quite the year when I think about it. I am sure I am not the only one with that experience!
In September, I resigned from my job in Corporate America to focus on my business. I had been transitioning out over the month of September and this past Tuesday was the very last day I physically went into the office in order to welcome the new Executive Director into my position. I was surprised with a gathering/celebration from my boss and co-workers. They presented me with a beautiful heart chakra singing bowl and live music from two of my co-workers that literally brought me to tears.
It was all finally hitting me. I hadn't grieved over moving on from this job until that day. I was leaving the best corporation, boss, and co-workers I ever had in my Professional career. I cried throughout the entire gathering. There were tears of mourning for the ...
“If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way”~Martin Luther King Jr.
Throughout my life, I was taught to look upon leadership as a status to be obtained. It was a mark in one’s career that let the world know you ‘made it’ and are ‘making a difference’. I look back at that belief as I would a young, sweet, and naive child. There are some amazing leaders that have inspired me along the way. Amazing inspirational leaders that encourage and encompass kindness and compassion to all. Visionary leaders who take action to create the world they know is obtainable-one of connection, compassion, and collaboration. I still look upon some of the great leaders for inspiration. I continue to saturate my brain with their knowledge, and learn from their teachings and beliefs. I have also been blessed enough to have amazing leaders throughout my personal life. Amongst them include family, my husband, children, friends, teachers, bosses,...
“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen”~Brene Brown
So many of my years were spent being the person I thought I “should” be. I am the first born, which means I am an over-achiever and strive for perfectionism. Some of my younger memories include being yelled at for my first “B”, going to weight watchers at ten years old, and being made fun of for the clothes I wore and the hairstyle I chose. Before that, I was a fun loving, free spirited, vibrant, live-out-loud kind of girl. Early in my years, just like most of us, I was taught what was acceptable. I was taught how good little Catholic girls were supposed to act. I was taught that achievement was of the upmost importance. I was taught how wives and mothers were supposed to behave. I was taught what was, and was not, acceptable within a marriage and a family.
I am grateful for all...
“The only thing constant is change”~Heraclitus
Through the past six months of drastic changes in the world, it has left people feeling unrest and wanting change, confused on how to act and feel, sad about the state of the world, excited for change, angry with how the change has some about, hopeful about changes that are happening, and afraid of the uncertainty of the change. Often feeling all of these emotions within a one minute time frame. I remember seeing posts on social media around the New Year stating things like “so glad 2019 is over” and “goodbye 2019, it was a rough one” and “can’t wait to see what 2020 brings!”. Well, I don’t think one person was anticipating 2020 being this transformational. I bet a lot of people wish they could have the struggles of 2019 back in an offer to trade it for 2020. Being in the helping field, I have seen several different reactions to the changes. I have seen people fall...
“Many people are alive, but do not touch the miracle of being alive”~Thich Nhat Hanh
The practice of mindfulness and meditation has been around for thousands of years. Historically, the arrival of mindfulness to the United States is attributed to Jon Kabat-Zinn, the creator of the Stress Reduction Clinic. Mindfulness is now a commonly used term that you will hear in many households. It is estimated that well over 2 million American adults engage in mindfulness practices (AMRA, 2017). One the one hand, I think that number is wonderful. On the other hand, I think we can do so much better than a measly 2 million when you compare it to the overall population of 328 million. It baffles me, quite frankly. After all of the research that proves the many benefits of mindfulness, why in the world are more people NOT practicing?
Let’s take a moment here to discuss some common beliefs, or what I consider to be excuses created out of fear of our conditioned...
Have you ever thought about what it would be like if your inner voice was actually a person? Would you spend time with this person? Is this person the kind of person you would call a friend? Does this person resemble your values?
For me, the answer was a resounding NO. There is no way I would want to spend time with a constant worrier. Someone who is always harshly criticizing herself for all that she is and is not. Living in the “could’s” and “should’s”. I “could” have done that better. I “should” not feel this way. A professional woman consistently living in a state of perfectionism and need to “keep it all together”, which only led to a feeling of constant burnout in all areas of her life and never feeling “enough”. Who would want to hang out with someone who comes from a state of scarcity rather than abundance, keeping her in a state of yearning...
As a child, I always had a WILD imagination. I loved to pretend play…anywhere I was. This included church services on Sundays and school days when I attended a Catholic school. I vividly remember strange stares from onlookers as I pretended to have an entire tea party while sitting in the pew, opening up imaginary cabinets to take down the tea kettle and cups. Setting up the imaginary table. Sipping on my imaginary cup. I was 8 years old at the time of this memory. I began getting in trouble for not paying attention in church. I began hearing from others, wether through judgmental stares or actual words, that this behavior and my wild imagination, was unacceptable. This is when I started to quiet my mind and creativity. This is when I began worrying about what others thought of me and listened to what they expected from me. I look at this 8 year old from my current Loving Wise Adult and imagine scooping her up to whisper “don’t ever let anyone tell you to dim your...
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