The Power of Personal Evolution — and Why We’re So Scared of It

What happens when we stop fearing the shedding and start embracing our truth?

As I approach another lap around the sun — now officially closer to 50 than 40 — I’ve found myself reflecting not just on the past year, but on the full, messy, beautiful tapestry of my life.

I see all the versions of myself that have shown up along the way. And I can now see that each of them had a purpose — even when that purpose was survival, rebellion, or simply getting through the damn day.

Yes, I know it might sound strange to refer to these former selves as characters, but stay with me. This isn’t The United States of Tara — it’s something much more grounded and real.

The Many Versions of Me

There was the version of me who learned early on that charm and beauty could earn me what I thought I needed: love, attention, acceptance.

The version who dumbed herself down, dimmed her light, played “less than,” just to fit in. People called me naive or stupid because I dared to stay hopeful, positive — because I didn’t lead with cynicism, even when I saw the world’s brokenness.

The version who rebelled against my mother when she tried to bring me to another pro-life protest — not knowing I had just had an abortion. How could I tell her? She gave up everything to have me at 19. We’d been attending those protests since I was little. That’s how passionate she was. And that’s how painful it was to feel so misaligned.

There was the version who numbed her pain with substances and self-harm, trying to make sense of the betrayal of learning that the man I called “dad” wasn’t actually my father. The ground beneath me cracked open.

The version who dreamed of saving the world — starting with the oceans — and who eventually earned a master’s degree in Counseling to help others navigate their own waves of evolution.

The version who gave everything she had to "make it" in the traditional healing world. Who poured her soul into treatment centers and corporate structures, believing she could still bring light into spaces that didn’t always know what to do with her.

The version who started businesses, then backed away. Who dreamed big and then shrunk to fit what others defined as safety and success.

And then the version who said “enough.”
Who leapt.
Who left her cushy (and yes, very successful) corporate job to finally do the thing she was born to do — and bet on herself.

So Why Are We So Afraid of Evolving?

Because evolution requires shedding.

Shedding beliefs, identities, roles, relationships, comfort zones, and sometimes the very scaffolding we built to survive.

When we evolve, we must take ownership of our reality. That means facing the truth about how we’ve co-created it — through our choices, our patterns, and our pain.

And let’s be honest: that kind of honesty hurts.

It hurt to admit that I was staying small on purpose.
That I was blaming others — my husband, my boss, the system, the weather — because it was easier than taking responsibility.
And yes, the systems are broken.
Yes, the gender gaps are real.
Yes, the world is often unfair.

But even when all of that is true, I still have a choice in how I respond, how I heal, and how I rise.

Here’s the hard truth:
Taking responsibility doesn’t mean the other party is off the hook.
It means you’re free.

Growth is Discomfort — But So is Staying Stuck

Personal evolution isn’t clean or linear.
It’s often heartbreaking.
But it’s also the most sacred kind of becoming.

You won’t always know where it’s taking you.
But you will know when it’s time.

Because staying in the old version of yourself will start to hurt more than shedding her.

"Personal evolution is not about fixing yourself — it’s about remembering who you are underneath it all."
— Leanne Jamison