Ditch your New Years Resolutions for good!
It's that time of year again that people make all sorts of New Years Resolutions that they are likely to break within the first few weeks of the New Year, leaving us feeling defeated from the start of the year. Don't you think it's time to create a new tradition? A tradition that is more likely to inspire rather than punish? A commitment to yourself that is more likely to create lasting change rather than fall off within the first two weeks?
There are several reasons why resolutions fail. The one I would like to briefly mention is the fact that you're just not ready to change. We might believe, superficially, that we want to change, and are ready for the change. With this superficial commitment, we tend to only focus on changing behaviors, which is only a small part of the equation. The other larger part is to challenge our core beliefs so we don't end up sabotaging our efforts. For instance, if we focus on wanting to lose weight, eat healthier, and exercise more, and this tends to be our goal year after year without success, then there is likely an underlying belief that is keeping you stuck. This belief might show up as a statement of "I don't know why you keep trying, you are just going to fail, just like everything else you try". It might show up in behaviors such as procrastination, or excuses. It's important to honestly observe your commitment to your goals with curiosity rather than judgment, so we can understand the underlying belief that is keeping us stuck. Only then are we able to make lasting changes...from the inside-out.
Instead of creating resolutions this year, I challenge you to create your Sankalpa (Sanskrit: सङ्कल्प), which means an intention formed by the heart and mind. This is a solemn vow, determination, or will. In practical terms a Sankalpa means a one-pointed resolve to focus both psychologically and philosophically on a specific goal. It is a tool meant to refine the will, and to focus and harmonize mind and body. It can be a word, a mantra, a phrase, a statement. It can even be a color, a happy place, a feeling, or a person or people you want to send good vibes to. When we align our body, spirit and mind we have a stronger ability to have success in our goals and intentions. Use a Sankalpa to magnify this power and optimize your ability to get what you want out of your life. The Sankalpa becomes a statement you can call upon to remind you of your true nature and guide your choices.
Here are some tips on creating your Sankalpa:
1. Listen. Your heart's desire is already there, we often do not take the time to listen during the hustle and bustle of life. Take intentional time out of your day to turn inward, get quiet, and ask yourself what your desire may be. Even if it comes up as 'superficial' or 'shallow', keep asking questions as to why this goal is important. I was recently working with a woman in my coaching program on her personal goals. She identified the importance of being fit and healthy. When we kept digging deeper into her motivation for this goal, we were able to identify her connection between fit and healthy with freedom. She did not want to be weighed down by health issues throughout her life that prevented her from experiencing life to the fullest. This is just one example of getting to the deeper "why's" of your goals that will create lasting changes.
2. Create the statement. The statement must be created from the mind and soul, and is strongest when created in the present tense. So often, we focus on statements of what we want to happen, or what we will/will not do, rather than creating it as if it is already occurring. For instance, instead of stating "I will be more compassionate", your Sankalpa will state "I am compassion" or "Compassion is my true nature".
3. Embed the statement into daily living. Be sure to repeat this statement first thing in the morning to set the intention, as well as all throughout the day as you anchor in the belief. It is most helpful to be in a mindful or meditative state as you repeat your Sankalpa. While we are in the state of mindfulness or meditation, the mind is returned to a state of present moment wholeness, where it is the most fertile for the anchoring of this belief.
4. Setting daily intentions and behaviors. Now that we have anchored the statement into our beliefs, it is time to create daily intentional behaviors. Every conscious choice you make is an opportunity to strengthen Sankalpa. This is another step that is grounded in Mindfulness. We must increase our awareness of our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, so that we can make conscious decisions on which direction to take. When you come to that moment of impulse, instead of following your usual instinct, bring your sankalpa to mind. In this way, the habit becomes a reminder that points you back to your goal and larger picture.
5. Proceed with compassion. All throughout this process, it is imperative to fully understand and embrace the fact that we are created perfectly in the eyes of the Universe and our Spiritual Connection. This may be confusing to some due to the paradox of working towards growth while accepting our perfection. Life is filled with paradoxes, and this, I believe, is one of the most important paradoxes to embrace. While we continuously strive to be better than the day prior, we embrace every dimension and aspect of ourselves as the way we are meant to be at that moment.
According to yogarupa Rod Stryker, you must find a way to integrate these two seemingly opposite aspects of being. “It’s vital for happiness that you walk both paths simultaneously. Direct your energy with intention, but be mindful that your nature is unchanged whether you achieve your goals or not. Live as contentedly as possible in between the goal and realizing the goal.”
If you need some inspiration to get your creative and intuitive juices flowing, here is a site I found with 100 Sankalpa examples. Join the Private Facebook Group for Professional Women to share your 2021 Sankalpa!
Sending much love and light this holiday season! LJ